The Koban Adventure!

So, last week Risa and I made our usual trip to the local supermarket for some grub. We needed some cash so we stopped by the ATM. The ATMs here are more like giant phone booths that are large enough to be modest Japanese apartments complete with an air conditioner/heater. I guess this is meant to make up for the more than worthless bank hours of 9am to 3pm.

The size and convenience of these ATMs is also further proof that Japan has never and will never have issues with transients or vandals. If these ATMs were located in the States I guarantee that they would be inhabited by no less than 20 homeless people, dozens of small fury rodents, and probably a high schooler or two every time you tried to pull out some cash.

But I stray. Upon entering the ATM I discovered some poor schmuck's license and health insurance card lying on the small table next to the machine. Being the upstanding citizens that we are we took the found items to the police box (koban) that sits just on the far side of the market's parking lot.

(I will restrain myself from ranting about the nerve grating fact that I have never seen a person actually stop at the cross walks in front of the market, speeding past kids and grandmothers at 30 km/h as they leave the shop, and carelessly parking wherever the hell they want including directly in front of the bike/wheelchair access ramp! All this while four police officers sit in their little box not more than 100 yards away with their thumbs up their asses! {restraint of actual ranting not included in this post})

Once in the koban I of course leave all the talking to Risa. She hands over the cards explaining that we found them in the ATM not five minutes ago. Now that all four officers have jumped out of their desks and completely awoken from their naps a huge commotion of filing, logging, and note taking explodes into action. One officer starts asking Risa for all of HER information including name, date of birth, residence, and probably blood type. After he has completely hand written this on an official form he tells us to "please wait a bit" and takes it over to another officer about five feet away. This second officer then beings to log all of this information into his computer. Mind you this officer has been sitting here the entire time listening to our conversation! WHY DON'T YOU JUST DO THIS COMPLETELY WORTHLESS STEP WHILE WE AREN'T HERE?! (I think in my mind first in English then in horribly elementary Japanese.)

At this point we have been sitting in the koban no less than 20 minutes. It seems than when items are found in Japan you can request to have them returned to the finder if no one claims them in a certain amount of time. Hence the logging of all of Risa's pertinent information. I could see how this would be nice if we found the guys entire wallet! Knowing how much cash most Japanese carry around with them at all times I could probably pay off our car payment and have enough left over for a six-pack of the quality beer! But the fact is we found only a drivers license and health insurance card of some middle aged factory worker. I suppose if I was a little more shady in character I could use the license to start driving. Which, knowing Aomori drivers I would probably need the health insurance card too.

Around the 2o minute mark when Risa and I have lost all hope in ever returning to our normal lives Absentminded-san himself walks into the koban! He asks if anyone has dropped off a license and health card and everyone has a jolly old laugh. Once the side splitting irony wears of the officer asks him to take a seat and hands him...wait for it...no, he doesn't hand him his cards, he hands him MORE forms! Probably to be filled out in triplicate, lost, found, re-recorded, burried, dug-up, and finally stored in the City Hall basement. (I have actually been there and it resembles the storage facility at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark!)

As the poor guy was filling out his forms to get his license back Risa and I were finally 'dismissed'. Our 15 minute market trip had turned into an hour long ordeal but somehow I think Ohfuckwhereismylicense-san had a rougher time of it. I hope he brought some snacks and water because he may still be there today! Now I think I am going to go back to the crosswalks in front of the market and walk back and forth extremely slowly for a few hours. Maybe I will drop by and spend a few hours filling out a 'dropped by to chat' form at the local koban, too.

The Flying Soba Monster!

No. This post has no connection to The Flying Spaghetti Monster and everything to do with Japanese interrogation through subtle force feeding and extreme hospitality!

Yes, extreme hospitality! The kind of hospitality that would drive you to imagine such excuses as, "I couldn't sleep very well last night because of unmentionable reasons that may or may not have to do with things that I can't explain because I am really just making things up," or possibly, "I think I left my blender on" just so you could leave the party early and maybe have a chance to catch a short nap before your stomach and intestines explode in a way that normally happens behind closed doors and not in a strangers living room. This kind of hospitality drives normal well adjusted people to wish they were maladjusted with no friends and lived in a shack in the woods. This is Japanese hospitality.

Let me start at the beginning. My fellow ALT and I were invited to a soba making party. Soba, as some of you know, is buckwheat. Not one of my favorite bland cardboard-esque noodles but in small helpings can be quite filling and easily digestible. One medium sized bowl of soba is in itself a filling and complete meal. This was my believe before I ate enough soba to choke a horse anyway. Now, I believe I will never enjoy soba in any shape or form for the rest of my life. Even seeing the word stirs memories of twenty course meals of soba chips, raw soba with soy sauce, deep fried soba, and soba pudding. After the pudding was served my memory becomes a little fuzzy which I account to the pain induced from putting 40 lbs of soba in a container designed to hold 9 lbs at most (this container of course being my stomach).

Early in the afternoon of the now infamous Ten Levels of Soba Hell Day we headed over to the Soba Master's house so we could help him make the noodles from scratch and experience a little Japanese culture. It turns out making soba is about as hard as eating it! After kneading a lump of soba dough about the size of my head to the point that it is hard enough to break a car window (which according to the Soba Master the hardness is directly related to how much water remains in the dough with less water equaling a better, lighter, taste) you have to roll it out till it is as thin as a one yen coin (about a penny's width). With five grown men working on this black hole of soba mass I still believe the soba came out 0 for 10 with possibly two TKOs!

Never fear though for humans rarely stay down when beaten! With our losses behind us we reach for our best offense; weaponry. A soba knife is a magnificent weapon and one I would most likely choose if say the residence of Tokyo were taken over by mind controlling soba monsters and I had to hack my way to safety. The Soba Master wielded his weapon of choice with the finesse of a thousand generations of samurai warriors which in turn made me look like I couldn't find my own butt with both hands. Chalk one more up for The Great Soba Monster!

After shredding the soba into small enough pieces to handle one on one we retired into the living room. Now on to the hospitality! After divvying the drinks out and the obligatory toast the fruits of our labor was dished to us in every shape and form. I couldn't be more wrong is saying that we had finally defeated the Soba Monster and were enjoying the feast of it's remains. The facade of satisfaction quickly fell after the fifth serving of sobaic concoctions. The revenge of the Soba Monster from being kneaded, squished, and cut into small strips was palpable in every sense of the word. Once inside its host the Soba Monster will start to expand and grow. It will then call to its Japanese slaves demanding more of its brethren be brought out and added to its ranks. Once hole again in the host's stomach it returns to its original car window shattering strength and beats the host until they are lain prone in a most embarrassing splayed position.

Typical Soba Monster victim.

Now the thing about Japanese hospitality is that it is strongest when you are at your weakest. Once in the splayed position with no energy left to digest let alone ingest the Japanese hostess will pounce! They know your weakness of gratitude and will exploit it till you have eaten every last piece of food in their arsenal. Try to imagine committing suicide by holding your breath and you will begin to grasp how difficult it is to refuse food that is being offered by a Japanese hostess. A typical offering of food in Japan goes something like this. Japanese Hostess: “Here is some soba pudding!” Me: “Oh, looks good, but no thank you, I am very full!” JH: “Soba pudding is very good!!” Me: “Yeah, it sure looks good, but no thank you.” JH: “SOBA...PUDDING...GOOD!!!” Me: “I'm just...” JH: “You don't like soba? It's too salty? It's too sweet? You can't eat soba at all?!?” Me: “No, really, I like soba but...” JH: “I knew it! Foreigners can't handle soba. Would you like some more rice?” At this point I recommend feigning death and hoping they don't bury you so that they can dig you up and eat you later on. Oh, wait that's for black bears. Well, I think it might be your best bet in this situation too.

By the end of the night after I had explained that I wasn't dead and that I was just very sleepy I was driven home in a catatonic soba induced haze. I still believe the boss (I have multiple) who drove me home refuses to speak to me again for fear I will tell him more truths of my childhood that include barbwire fences and close call losses of manhood which I may or may not have spilled thinking I was being interrogated by the Japanese Soba Police for crimes against hospitality. Come to think of it I never saw our host eat a single piece of Soba.

Hina Matsuri (Dolls Festival)

The Japanese have a lot of holidays. I think ten months out of the year have holidays actually. This is great since I am guaranteed at least one three day weekend every month! The fact is that this amount of festivity shows the depth of culture and tradition here. These holidays are not counting your typical western holidays that are also celebrated here (to a certain extent) such as Christmas, Halloween, and Valentines Day. The last being celebrated backasswards with the women giving the men chocolates. And I mean all the men! They even have to give their male bosses chocolates! But don't worry ladies this is countered with White Day held in March where the men return the giving with candy and such.

à la the title this post isn't about White Day but the Hina Matsuri. Hina can be directly translated to Doll with Matsuri meaning Festival. The event is traced back to the Heian Period (794-1185 CE) and is celebrated on the third day of the third month of the year. Traditionally the dolls were believed to hold bad spirits and at the end of the festival they would be placed on small boats made of grass and floated down a stream. This traditional practice known as hina-nagashi doesn't seem to be as popular lately possibly due to the sheer number of dolls that would be floating down every stream and canal in Japan.

Nowadays, the dolls are placed upon a typically seven-tiered stand with the Emperor and Empress at the top. Here is a picture I took of one at a kindergarten where I was invited to celebrate the festival.

 

There seems to be many different traditional foods eaten during the festival. The kindergarten served macha with sweet candies. The principal at the school told me that you first eat the sweet candies then drink the macha (a very bitter green tea). The two juxtaposing tastes make for a very good blend. In other parts of Japan where I have celebrated this festival I was served amazake (a very thick low-alcohol version of sake) and small soy-sauce flavored crackers called arare. This combination gave the same sort of blend of flavors just with the food being bitter and the drink being sweet.

Here are some more pictures at the kindergarten.





The kids liked to show me their green tongues after drinking the macha.




I have heard that the Hina Matsuri is traditionally known as Girls' Day with Kodomo no hi, which is celebrated in May, typically celebrated as Boys' Day. When May comes around I will try to snap some pictures of the carp shaped flags that pop up everywhere and give a little explanation of the origins of the holiday. (I have heard that there is some dispute about why Boys' Day is considered a National Holiday, i.e. they get a day off, while Girls' Day isn't. Meh, whatcha gonna do, it's Japan!)

Hakodate

Went to Hakodate this past weekend with everyone from my office.

Every month we pay about $20 out of our paycheck to contribute to the end of the year party and the new year trip. This year I guess there were some scheduling conflicts so the new year trip didn't happen till March. It was worth the wait though!

We took the train north to Hokkaido through the longest underground tunnel in the world. The 33 mile long Seikan Tunnel connects Hokkaido to Honshu and contains the first two undersea train stations. I guess the Honshu side station was demolished a few years ago in preparation for the new bullet train line that will connect Hokkaido to the rest of Japan's high speed train network.

After arriving in Hakodate the first order of business was ramen! These guys are my kind of travel mates.

We then spent a few hours trekking around Hakodate's port town. Being the first port to open to western trade routes there are many western style warehouses and historical hot spots. It is essentially a tourist trap now with tons of little shops selling everything from bongs (I'm not joking!) to giant stuffed Elmos.


Bloodthirsty Elmo of Death!

After the souvenir shops we headed down to the Kitajima Saburo Museum. Sabu-chan is one of the most renowned enka (kind of a folk opera?) singers in Japan and was born in Hakodate.


Sea-chan and Sabu-chan Duet!

Oh, better include some pictures of other people or somebody might mistake me for being a narcissist.


David and I hangin' with our main man Saburo.

We also toured the religious district where you can find churches of almost every religion. In our short walk we passed a Russian Orthodox, Roman Catholic, and a Buddhist Temple all within the same block. We took the tram, yep a tram, to our Japanese style hotel. Complete with tatami mat rooms, outside bath, and rigid eating schedule.

The following day we spent a few hours shopping for souvenirs. I spent way to much but came home with chocolate covered potato chips, happy (gengki) sausages, and some chocolate liquor.

We took the ferry back home instead of the train. Amazingly it is just as fast and I think a little cheaper. The new high speed ferry is very comfortable complete with a snack shop and lounge couches.

That's it for now. I will update again in a few days with some pictures of the Hina Matsuri. An annual Dolls Festival with what seems to be a very deep traditional background.

Hakodate 08

Snow. Snow. Snow.

Haven't posted in a while. I know. The same old excuse of not much going on lately won't cut it, but really...



It's winter in Kuroishi!!



Meh. Cabin fever.



We are getting to watch a lot of movies. Just yesterday we went to see American Gangster. I think it came out in the States last November and has just now made it to Japan. If you haven't seen this and have three hours to spare someday I recommend it. I think it is a coming back for Ridley Scott from some of his recent blunders. There are a lot of trolling movie illiterati (I made this word up!) on IMDB who are bashing it but pay them no mind and check it out!



I have also been working on uploading hundreds of more photos to my web album. Many pictures were taken by Ris or Dustin. Some of my favorites though are the close-ups include in the Rust, Moss, Bug and Urchin album!

Rust, Moss, Bugs, and Urchin

Next weekend Ris and I are going to try and spend the night at an onsen for my birthday. It's located way up in the mountains, there is no electricity, and the whole place is heated and lighted by oil apparently. Everyone gets small oil lanterns at night and there are mixed outside baths. Right now though we are counting on a cancellation to get a room since they are all booked up. It's a three day weekend and will be crazy everywhere. Until after my B-day! Ciao!

Merry Early Xmas Us!!

Yep, Christmas came a little early for Ris and I. Ris says it was my idea but I have to disagree. I saw that little twinkle in her eye when we tried out Ninja Gaiden Sigma at the electronic shop.







This thing has it all. With it networked to my computer I can browse my music, pictures, and movies and play them directly on the PS3. It cooks us breakfast in the morning and never overcooks the eggs, and it even gives me neck rubs after work. The only drawback is it sends DNA samples and brain scans back to Sony headquarters once a week.



This is kind of old news but we bought a car last month. It's a Subaru Pleo and so far has been a great car. The gas mileage isn't as great as I think it could be which was a trade off for full time 4WD.







It costs upwards of $3,000 to get a drivers license here so for the moment Ris is the only driver. The only reason we actually purchased the car was for her work so it would be a waste for me to take the time and money for a license.



On the subject of work Ris started a part time job at a Cram School in Hirosaki. She only has one class a week as of now but will be getting more class as she gets better at teaching. She is completely fluent in English but has never taught it before. Speaking a language and teaching it are two entirely different things. She may be offered full time at the School which would mean working late every night, sometimes past 10pm, and every weekend. I guess we will make that decision once they offer her the job.



On a different note. Risa and I have started a D-tox program. She bought a set of d-tox herbal supplements in Canada when she lived there and has never used them. It was my idea to actually go through with it and I tell ya, I am really regretting it. I haven't had a beer in a week!! We are both having chocolate withdrawals and can't even watch TV anymore because every other commercial is about food! This d-tox program only lasts two weeks with a restricted diet to only vegetables, brown rice, and water. The program isn't as strict as other so you can get away with certain amounts of meats (only chicken and fish) and very small amounts of dairies. We are one week through the program and have yet to kill each other so with perseverance we may just make it. The fist week is supposedly the hardest while your body flushes out all the toxins with the second week allowing your body to fully heal and recharge. That's right, this Shamalama ain't no Hypacrippie!



This year we are planning on spending New Years back in Date with her family. Her parents are really looking forward to see me again I hear. (And who wouldn't be!?) New Years is a big holiday here in Japan. New Year's morning is started off with a bang rather than the night before. Everyone wakes up early and a huge feast is prepared. The best part is everyone, including the kiddies, gets a topped off glass of sake first thing in the morning along with a tradition mochi (mushed rice) soup and plenty of sweets afterwards. By the afternoon of January 1st every temple and shrine is packed with visitors who make wishes for the new year and try their first fortune telling for the new year.



This will be my first time back to Date since August of last year. My good friends the Griffith's will be staying in Date for the holidays giving me a chance to see them. Not seeing the kids for more than a year will be a huge surprise in itself. I won't have nearly enough time to see everyone I know there but I will give a warning that The Seamus will be back for a short time only!



I'll sign out here with a short list of PS3 games that have received good reviews. Just in case somebody **cough** TD/TM happens to be out shopping and finds themselves at a store that carries games. One of the coolest things about the PS3 is that there are no region protection. I can play American games as easily as Japanese titles.



Assassin's Creed

Ratchet and Clank

Need for Speed Pro Street



Oh, and note to Jonathan and Ayu. Ris and I have finished Season 3 of Lost and are working on Heroes now. The big question that lingers on my mind is who the heck is Richard (Batmanuel) and why has he not aged at all since he first met childhood Ben!?

Good Friends, Loud Music, and Dead Fish!

Three highlights of my trip to Shimokita with Dustin and Ris.

Saturday morning Dustin arrives in Aomori City after a long overnight ferry ride from Hokkaido. We meet up with him at the station. Ris has reserved a rental car for three days and I pull out some extra cash for the weekend. The rental guy picks us up at the station, we pay for the car, and we start to drive north. That is our pre-departure planning in its entirety for our three days of exploring Shimokita.

Our fearless Jeeves.

Well not really, but close enough. Ris and I pretty much left all the planning up to Dustin, a veteran of traveling in Japan. Our destinations of Osore-san and Oma were pretty clear but our route was pretty much anything goes.

We started north at about 9:30 am on Saturday and reached Osore-san by noon. Dustin gave me a short history on the region once we were there. "Osore" literally means "fear". Yep, we actually made plans to travel to Mt. Fear! I am not too clear on the history but it seems this area is a place that spirits come in order to cross to the afterlife according to the local Buddhists.


We made a few stops on the road north. Along one of the mountain roads we caught a small spring and shrine that are very common in Japan. Also, Dustin wanted to stop by a small train station to buy a "collector" ticket or something. Apparently the crazy guy has been to every train station in Hokkaido that sells these special tickets and now he is getting started on Honshu.

Drink the Urine of the Mountain and be free my children.

MT. FEAR!

Osore-san is quite active it seems. After I relieved myself we
happened upon some active sulfur pools that really weren't that hot.

Have you seen my record?

Once you get past the temple area you are free to walk the grounds. I will tell you they got the name right when they decided to call the place Fear! It was actually quit eerie behind the temple area. There were these piles of rocks everywhere with little messages written on them and the occasional child's toy stuck between the cracks. The pinwheels were especially creepy.



Dustin informed me that the children's toys placed around the shrines were for children who had perished before their parents. They were stuck in some kind of Buddhist purgatory and apparently bored. The occasional crow didn't help the mood either.




The whole area was very beautiful though. The lake behind the sulfur grounds was a very deep blue with yellow shores, and the occasional Buddha statue made for a relaxing atmosphere.





After Osore-san we made our way to the most northern point of mainland Japan. Oma is famous throughout Japan for their high quality tuna. We arrived right at sunset when most of the shops were closing down but managed a few shots.



We asked a local where we could get some of this famous tuna. She gave us some simple instructions for a nice little restaurant downtown (and yes we got lost in a freakin' fishing village WITH a GPS unit in the car...) THIS TUNA WAS AMAZING! I have never eaten such fresh raw tuna before. This stuff just melted in your mouth. We decided to stay the night in Oma since it would be about a three hour drive back to Kuroishi. This would also give us the chance to possibly catch a glimpse of the morning fish market.



We missed the catch of the day tuna haul thanks to our incompetent hotel staff so we asked around about a demonstration of tuna carving. We were lucky enough to catch the last show of the year.

Come touch my tuna! It bring long life and happy time.

This tuna was HUGE! Fully gutted it weight in at 140 kilos which is about twice my weight. The coolest part was after the whole tuna was carved though. Our foreigner power granted us a couple of tickets to eat some of the freshly carved tuna. They would let you scrap the flesh right off the rib cage of this thing, dip it into some soy sauce and wasabi, and munch it right down. I love the idea of sanitation in this country.

After our tribal breakfast we headed south along the coast towards Hotokegaura. They say these rock formations resemble Buddhas...



We made it home to Kuroishi that night and took Dustin to one of our favorite ramen joints. God I missed ramen!



The last day of a three day weekend should always end in an onsen. About 30 km out of Kuroishi is a very famous mixed bath hot spring. They claim you can fit 1000 naked people in this thing at one time and they have a poster on the wall to prove it. It might help that 90% of them are wrinkled old people.



After a half hour of trying to relax in the bath with naked young women surrounding me and trying not to notice all the dirty old men ogling Risa, Dustin takes us back to the apartment. We say our goodbyes and he heads off to catch his ferry home. All around a perfect weekend.